Amy's Million Pound Match-Up Page

Months..

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 04:06:24 GMT

So, it's been months since I've visited this site. And months since I've done anything but worry about my weight and its increasing number. Short of worrying, I've done nothing to get back on track.. I need someone to kick my ass.

I weighed in at the doctor's office last week at around 316 pounds. I'm back to my highest weight ever.

I worry about it every single day but I don't seem to have the discipline to do anything about it. While I was watching The Biggest Loser tonight, I felt that familiar pang of jealousy towards the team members left. I am so happy for them that I cry when I see how well they've done. But at the same time, I wish it was me up there. I wish that I weren't so scared of applying to be on the show. My fear?? I don't want anyone to see me in a sports bra on national television. Do I think I have what it takes to be a contestant? you bet. I'm 5'2", 316 pounds or somewhere in that area, I am 29 years old, on Crestor for high cholesterol, Fortamet for my sugar problems (I'm insulin resistant)... I am on anti-anxiety and depression medication because I am so unhappy with who I am. My biggest fear is death.. So why is it that I seem to be making him my best friend? What is it that is keeping me from shedding this weight??

I watched Ali go through her struggles over the past 15 weeks.. And I realized that I am so much like her. I cushion myself with this weight to keep myself at a safe distance from everything. If I stay fat, I won't be hurt. I won't have to deal with rejection because no one will love me.

I need help. And I just don't know who to turn to.

Weigh in!

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 02:54:29 GMT

Ok, so my weigh-in wasn't so good. I stayed the same. But! At least I didn't gain anything!!!

Mom lost 1.4 pounds this past week! Go Mom!

Quote

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 02:28:01 GMT

Wanted to get this quote posted so I wouldn't forget it.

I really like it...

That is all.

Finally!

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 03:23:47 GMT

Woo! Hear my weight loss cry!! "Bom Chicka Wah Wah!" (Thanks, Jenny and Jules!) ;P

I weighed in this morning. And lost 3.2 pounds! Granted, it's not a huge loss, but hey, it's good for me. Considering I'm too poor for a trainer and someone to prepare my meals, I did pretty darn good on my own! Maybe this week will be even better!

This brings our weight loss total for 2 weeks to 3.6 pounds. I know it's small, but I will take what I can get!

My goal for next week... See the 200's! That's going to be a huge loss, but I'm going to try for it if nothing else!

*does the happy dance*

Workout songs?

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 04:21:44 GMT

Ok.. So I am scouring iTunes for good workout songs. I need help! Please comment with your favorite, fast-paced workout songs so I can get a good library going for my iPod!

Thanks in advance for the input!

*hugs*

Nervous

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 12:18:16 GMT

I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow's weigh-in. I started out this week with a bang, but quickly fell a little behind. My problem this week? Eating only once a day. I need to make time for eating regularly throughout the day even if I'm at work or school. I did get my water in but I don't know if that will be enough to get a loss on the scale. I go tomorrow morning and will have results posted tomorrow evening when I get home from work!

Wish me luck!

Weight Watchers

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 12:01:09 GMT

Ok, thought I would blog before going to work this morning. I was really down last night about my whole attitude with weight loss. I'd already decided that I was going to fail again, just like I've failed each and every time I've tried to lose weight.

This morning, I've got a whole new attitude. I am going to do this, even if it kills me in the process. I decided that I need to surround myself as much as possible with all things "healthy". Like this webpage.. what's in my refrigerator (this one's a little bit harder, since I'm not the only adult in the household!).. etc. etc. This morning, I joined Weight Watchers to help me locally. Although the support of friends around America is a wonderful thing, I need local support as well. If there is a meeting tomorrow morning before I have to be at work, I am going tomorrow morning for an official weigh-in. I will more than likely use my weight from that scale, so it may vary from what my start weight was originally.

I've already decided.. I may not be in the running for the Million Pound Match-up because of all this back and forth here in the beginning, but that's ok. It's not about a contest, although it is nice.. It's about my health. And I have to do whatever it takes to make sure that I get myself to a healthier person. I need to learn to make peace with my body as it is now so that I can begin the healing process, physically and mentally.

I've got a lot before me in the next year, but I know I can do this!

Good luck to all my friends around the world! I've been viewing your pages and they are wonderful! As are your weight losses! Keep up the good work!

Weigh-in #1

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 01:34:49 GMT

So, the first weigh-in was quite unsuccessful.. Maybe next week will be better.

Brenda: -.4 pounds

Current weight: 208.6 pounds

Amy: No change

Current weight: 311.8 pounds

Total lost: 0.4 pounds

Not so good... There's always next Saturday!!

Tough Times.. And it's only just begun!

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:33:11 GMT

I just finished watching the 2nd episode of The Biggest Loser. I wish so bad that I was there! Jillian was so right when she said people would pay thousands of dollars for just one day there. I would take out a loan to just get a day there. But! I am at home and I have to find the motivation to do this. I had a really bad day. I'm finding myself lacking the motivation I need to do this. I have my mom that is doing this with me. However, she doesn't live with me. We rarely see each other throughout the week and I have a wonderful "support system" but I just don't see that support system enough to keep me going. I know that I have to find it in myself to do it. I cannot depend on others to help me with this. I have to go it alone and I have to not be scared. I binged today. This is about the 2nd or 3rd time I've done this in the past couple of months. I hate that word.. "binge". There's no other word for it though. By the end of the day, I'd finished off a bag of those mini doughnuts, drank 2 twenty ounce Cokes, and ate a burrito for dinner. That's *not* the way to do this. I did it before I even realized what I was doing. I have been overweight since I was a child. So, I know that the bingeing did not get me here. But I just keep thinking.. What if this is some new thing for me and I keep having binges? I cannot do this to myself. I have an appointment on February 20th with an endocrinologist. Hopefully, he will help me work all this out. I do have PCOS and I know that I retain sugars moreso than someone without the disorder, so maybe he's got suggestions for me. Or even better, maybe he'll refer me to a nutritionist. I just know that I need help and I need it desparately. Or I will not live a long, healthy life.

I'm sorry to be such a downer, but this is where I will vent. This is also where I will document my achievements. Because, although I am down tonight, tomorrow is a new day and not every day will be so bad. I have hope.

I have decide to make weigh-in days on Saturday. I will update every Saturday with my mom's weight and my weight as well.

I have faith and I will pray every day for a little more motivation and willpower! Good luck to those that are taking the same journey!

Our introductions - Starting weights! - Pictures to come soon!

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 22:16:26 GMT

Ok. So, I forgot the major pieces of information needed in order to start this webpage the right way. You need bios!!!

My partner, Brenda, is my wonderful mother. She's always been there for me and sacrificed for the entire family. I asked her to be my partner because she's been on Weight Watchers with me off and on and it would be good to get her healthy as well. For as long as I can remember, she has been a diabetic. She is also on medication to control her blood pressure. I am a little weary of how much exercise I can get her to do because she has really weak ankles and I know it hurts her to walk/exercise a lot. If anyone reads this and has good suggestions, please contact me! I have this urgency to get her healthy again because I want to keep her around for as long as I can. I want her to be there for me, should I ever find someone who loves me for me and get married! My mom's stats are below:

Height: 4 ft 11.5 in

Weight: 209.0 pounds

Age: 56

Now, for me. I have led a fairly blessed life when it comes to medical conditions up until this last year. I often have extreme pain/numbness/tingling in my arms and hands. I have been tested for carpal tunnel, but the doctor said that my numbers weren't that significant. Whatever the hell that means. I was diagnosed several years ago with polycystic ovarian syndrome. I am insulin resistant. I have sleep apnea. I figure it's only a matter of time before my health gets worse. And if I don't do something soon, I feel like I may live a short life just like my aunt did. My stats are as follows.

Height: 5 ft 2 in

Weight: 311.8 pounds

Age: 28

I have never been so ready to change my life as I am now. I only hope that doing this at home will work and that I can change my life without a trainer/nutritionist/etc. Please pray for a change in my life. I am ready to do this!!!

So this is it...

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 14:25:58 GMT

So, here we are. I have been waiting for the Million Pound webpage to open and it has finally happened. I have always wanted to be a contestant on The Biggest Loser. My horrible self-esteem has kept me from even applying. There's no way I could be on the show and have the entire world see my body! Believe me, I know it is absolutely the dumbest thinking ever, but it's the way I am. I trully think I could save my life if I just had a chance at The Biggest Loser ranch.. I just can't seem to get past the fact that the world will be watching. My life's dream would be to train with one of the trainers on the show. Jillian would kick my ass. Maybe that's what I need!

So, let me tell you a little about myself. I am a 28 year old female living in Louisville, Kentucky. I have been overweight pretty much my entire life. I have tried every diet there is, only to fail miserably in the end. Two years ago, I began Weight Watchers. I was at my highest weight ever. (Wow, this is even hard to type knowing that anyone can view this page.) I weighed in on a cold February morning at 314 pounds. At this point, I had a strong motivation. I had lost my Aunt Gail to a blood clot. She was in her early 50s when she passed away and I couldn't help but think that I would go down the same road she went. I can't help but to think that her health issues had everything in the world to do with her weight. I didn't want to die an early death like she did. I did wonderfully. I lost 60 pounds in the first 10 months of being on program. Then, I became horribly ill. To this day, I am not sure what caused the illness. I was nauseous and could only keep chicken noodle soup down for about 2 months of my life. When I finally began to get better, I had this urge to eat everything in sight. I was so happy to be able to eat, and so scared that I would get sick again, that I began to eat whatever I wanted. I was just happy that I was alive and losing weight became an afterthought. I was living my life in fear of getting sick again, so I ate and ate and ate. I think that it was my way to make myself feel better, to prove that I was ok again.

Now, one year later, I am no longer nauseous all the time. But what do I have to show for it? I gained almost all 60 pounds back. IN ONE YEAR. I now weigh 311.8 pounds. I am so ashamed to even type my weight. But maybe this is what I need to light a fire under my big butt. I need to do this, first and foremost, for myself. I am so scared of dying young because of my weight. I also need to do this for my family. I cannot bear the thought of leaving my parents at an early age.

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome as well. I am insulin resistant. I am on my way to huge health problems if I can't get this under control. I need help. And a lot of it. I am hoping that by chronicling my journey, that I will stay on track and get healthy. I have asked my mother to be my partner. She is a diabetic and struggles with her weight as well. I am hoping that we can lean on each other and The Biggest Loser show to make this happen. Otherwise, I may not be here 10 years down the road. And that thought scares the hell out of me..

Photo Album: The Befores

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 11:00:12 GMT

The Befores

A picture of me about a year ago. This was probably at one of my lower weights.

Custom List: Combined Weight Results!

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 06:22:56 GMT

Combined Weight Results!

Start: 518.4 pounds - Current: 515.2 pounds
Week #2
Start: 518.8 pounds - Current: 518.4 pounds
Week #1